consultingmoosecaptain:

dalekitsune:

the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu

See also:

Blood is thicker than water The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

Meaning that relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth.

(via urbanclictionary)

335,356 notes
Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
  • Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
  • Me: Please, god, no--
  • Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
  • Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
  • Me: Please, guys, calm down--
  • Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
  • Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
  • Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
  • Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
  • Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
  • Me: I hate you all
  • Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
  • Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
  • Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
  • Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
  • Uterus: You mother fuckers.
  • Torso: CONTRACT!
  • Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
  • Brain: Me gusta.
128,557 notes

floatingpoop:

step 1: make girl laugh
step 2: make girl moan

(via riansshinyteethandme)

325,881 notes

weirdteenblogger:

its monday tomorrow why does this keep happening 

(Source: brunts, via riansshinyteethandme)

140,585 notes